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Rejection happens to everyone at some point in their life. I know I have experienced it more times than I would like to admit.
Taking some time to educate ourselves on what to do in case we experience the feeling of rejection can go a long way in maintaining emotional health. If we look at rejection as a type of wound, it would make sense to apply the concept of “Emotional First Aid”
Emotional First Aid
What on earth is Emotional First Aid?
Emotional First Aid is acting with self-care, self-love, and wellbeing when it comes to responding to rejection and out-casting. Sadly, the concept of Emotional First Aid is not as well known as it should be. Many are unaware of the need to be more attentive to their emotional health in the face of rejection.
When we cut ourselves, we are quick to care for the wound by cleaning and covering it, but our response to emotional damage from rejection is much slower. Often we are paralyzed by the pain initially.
It is important to teach ourselves and our children how to approach our response when dealing with the hurts of rejection to avoid further experiences that have the potential to lead to depression and anxiety over time.
Read on for tips to help you confront and process through the experience of rejection.
Take Time to Listen to Yourself When Feeling Emotional Pain
When we get hurt by the actions of others, it is easy to get lost in the pain. We may then get stuck there and let it fester. While it may initially stop us in our tracks, it is also the best time to sit back and become aware of the nature and cause of the pain. How did we get here? What led to the experience of rejection?
Taking time to understand the root cause of the pain makes it easier to focus on rebuilding when it comes to a particular experience. When emotionally crushed by rejection, it is all too easy to generalize. This can lead to feelings of worthlessness, self-doubt, and even self-hate.
It is important to be able to recognize the specific incident and analyze it to prevent dangerous generalizations and the consequences that come with it. Later, you can look back at the incident and other similar negative experiences to see if there are any patterns, but for now, just focus on the incident at hand.
Having respect and understanding of the experience of rejection is vital because it opens the pathway to an objective response. Being able to view our emotional pain objectively helps us to regain emotional stability more quickly.
Developing an objective understanding will allow us to have more energy to move into the next phase of healing.
Develop Your Internal Parent
Sometimes in life, we are going to have to cope with our experiences of rejection alone. We will not always have a support system in place. This is when internal parenting is ideal.
What is internal parenting?
Well, it is the ability and tendency to provide self-care that is aligned with the way that our ideal mother or ideal father would care for us.
Taking time to learn internal parenting is helpful because it allows us to tune into our ability to nurture ourselves, developing a greater emotional maturity. This is essential to dealing with rejection in the future.
The amount of time it takes to forgive can depend on what happened. However, forgiving someone else is really about letting go of the hurt and moving forward.
Forgiveness is for ourselves, rather than the other person.
It allows us to close the old chapter, and start fresh.
I always like to look at it as though I am no longer renting space in my mind to the person who caused me harm. I do not even need to tell them they are forgiven, because they may not even care, but I am able to take the next steps I need for my own wellbeing.
Learn to Challenge Negative Thoughts in a Positive Way
After taking the time to understand the why and how of the situation that caused feelings of rejection, it is important to put a “psychological bandaid” in place. By doing so, we can prevent it from negatively affecting other areas of our life.
In the face of rejection, we sometimes forget three crucial things that matter.
The first is that there are those who love us with all their hearts.
The second is that not everything is under our control.
The third is that despite everything outside our control, everything within us, we can control.
Realigning our thoughts to the truth that we are not alone, that our worth is not based on the opinion of other people, and that we have the power to shape our lives and choices for the better, allows us to redirect our energies to move forward.
We are then able to add the experience to our emotional knowledge base. This helps to build resilience to future incidences of rejection so that we are better capable of handling the possible hurt.
Did you find these tips helpful? Do you have any to add? Let me know in the comments below.